Dancing With The Boogeyman

A report of child abuse is made every ten seconds and three million cases involving almost 5.5 million children are reported each year.   This tragedy occurs at every socioeconomic level, across ethnic and cultural lines, within all religions and at all levels of education.

This issue has never impacted me, my family or anyone close to me, but since childhood, I have been passionate about protecting children from abuse.  As early as age ten,  I was in Rock Creek Park (in Washington, DC) on a picnic with my family when I saw a mother whipping her young children with a tree branch.  I marched up to her and demanded that she stop.  As recently as a month ago, while patiently waiting for a table at IHOP,  I noticed a mom yanking so hard on her toddler's arm that she was pulling her up from the floor.  "Um...excuse me," I said calmly as I kept texting on my phone, "but if you keep doing that you might dislocate her shoulder."  She stopped yanking then and angrily tried to defend herself.  I stayed within her striking striking distance and secretly hoped that she'd hit me so that I could call the police...and protect an innocent 2 year old. 

In this month's Martha Stewart Whole Living Magazine, I was interviewed about child abuse and it's impact on adult medical illnesses.  I was familiar with the association between early abuse and conditions such as depression, fibromyalgia, irritable bowel syndrome, and eating disorders, among others. However, it was only because of a smart journalist's leading question that I learned about the epigenetic impact of early abuse.  Stated simply, environmental events and exposures impact whether genes are turned on or off. 

According to the Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University, 

"If young children or pregnant mothers experience toxic stress as a result of serious adversity (such as chronic neglect, abuse or exposure to violence) in the absence of protective relationships, persistent epigenetic changes can result.  These modifications have been shown to cause prolonged stress responses....(which can) result in increased risk for physical ailments, such as asthma, hypertension, heart disease, and diabetes." 

CornerHouse is a non-profit agency in Minneapolis that works closely with law enforcement, child protection, and the county attorney’s office to advocate on behalf of abused children.  Each year, their annual gala, "Lets Dance" is modeled after the show, Dancing with the Stars.  Six local celebrities (Minneapolis business executives, community leaders or social figures with key contacts who can help raise visibility and money for the event) are paired with a professional dancer and dance studio who donate 15 lessons. The performance is a fully choreographed, three minute performance with the "winners" being the pair who dance the best and raise the most money. 

When I was asked to be one of the local celebrities for their November 12, 2011 event, it seemed like a no-brainer.  I care deeply about the cause, have decent rhythm and have always wanted to take dance lessons. I am not afraid to be on a stage, the chance to exercise is always a plus and, of course, I'd get to wear a fabulous outfit.  Even before meeting my dance teacher, I decided to do a Latin dance since the music and fast-paced beats were similar to the Greek music I'd grown up with.

Bruce Abas at Four Seasons Dance was selected as my dance teacher and partner.  He is a perfect fit since he'd studied Tango in Argentina and Salsa in Puerto Rico and Cuba.  At the first lesson, we briefly introduced ourselves to each other,  and then Bruce quickly launched into demonstrating the Latin Basic and the Side to Side steps while we both stood in front of the mirror. "Got it! This will be easy," I was thinking to myself.

After thirty minutes, it was time to practice the same steps while dancing together...facing each other.  And, that's the last time this experience was easy.  It was frightening.

In order to do any ballroom dance properly, it is essential for partners to communicate with direct visual contact, arm resistance and close body contact. In addition, Latin dance requires a sensual movement of the hips in order to make it authentic and beautiful. A basic rule is that the male partner is always in control. And, finally, trust is essential.

Try this with a relative stranger.  Try this when your success has been centered around the rules, mores  and conservative behaviors of corporate America.  Try this when you have led your whole life being "in control."  Try this when the skeletons from your past are sending you conflicting messages and fueling a heightened stress response. 

Lessons two and three triggered the same fright and anxiety.  I contemplated backing out, and one friend suggested that I simply write a large check and withdraw. But, it's my husband who encouraged me to follow through.  In fact, not only has he encouraged me to dance well, but to dance with the emotion that it will take to win.  Besides honoring my commitment to CornerHouse, it is a personal opportunity to grow.

I have had my 5th lesson and can finally make eye contact with Bruce.  I can even do a few turns. The hip thing is still a problem, but improving a little.  While Bruce is in control of the dance moves, I am finally feeling in control of my Boogeyman.

Take home message: Don't run away from yours. 

I will periodically continue to blog about this experience as we lead up to the November event. 

Create Health,
Archelle